Sunny Climes

Well, there’s nothing like forgetting that you have a rape charge hanging over you than by taking a multitude of holidays. It looks like it was a busy 2013 for our Danny Boy and Loyal Wifey, what with jetting off to Dubai, Spain and other exotic locations. This info is from my friend (let’s call her Alki Luce) who is friends with Loyal Wifey on FB. Danny Boy even whisked Loyal Wifey off to a castle nearby, such a sweet thoughtful thing to do and I’m sure she forgot all about your little transgression for a few days. Then she remembers and you have the following…..oooooopsssss


Dirty Little Secret

Diddums!! It looks like Surrey Mirror have succumbed to pressure and removed the comments from their article. A source from the paper has said that they had received complaints and were reviewing the comments. Hmmmm I wonder where the complaints originated from! Loyal Wifey is certainly keeping busy trying to keep Danny Boy’s transgressions a secret from the world and most importantly their customers. How outrageous! Urghhh think Loyal Wifey is not aware that most people really do not like rapists. Jowlsy Tomo (boss) is loitering near my desk so I best save my rant for later!

It’s a small world is Surrey

All is quiet on the Nic front too. What with serving customers and visiting Danny boy I suppose there isn’t time to answer emails. But, talk about it being a small world…..I just met a friend for a drink at the Cote in Reigate (yes, I am thinking of relocating when Danny boy is out, I don’t think any of us will be safe?) and she knows the Cresswell family!! Well, she vaguely knows them and has heard a bit of gossip about what’s been going on. Anyway, turns out she’s a friend of our Nic on Facebook and has kindly shared a few pics. Urgghhhh he’s a looker our Danny boy………seriously, you could do better than him!! He doesn’t exactly look like a suave businessman either, perhaps they aren’t selling that many electronic ciggies after all then eh Certo. And if he looked like that when he went in, what will he look when he gets out?

Yank Boy

I’m not that original am I when it comes to pet names for our key players in this little saga. It appears there is an American embroiled in this drama, though according to the Surrey Mirror article, he is no longer a director at Certo Enterprises. I did have another look at the Tara Exposes blog to see if there has been any update, but none yet. Perhaps, Yank boy has taken the first plane out of our little land for fear of being associated with our Danny boy. Who knows, but it is rather quiet on that front on the Surrey Mirror comments. That can’t look good for Yank boy, surely? If it were me, I would be screeching as loudly as I could that I had no idea what Danny boy was up to and didn’t know that he was such a horrible man who could be capable of rape. But anyway, that’s me, some people just don’t have the balls. I could be wrong, maybe Yank boy is on holiday and will let the eager Surrey Mirror comments (and me) know exactly what is going on this soap drama. This is much better than an episode of Eastenders. You have a supposedly happily married man, who cheats on his wife and then is convicted of rape. Said wife vows to stay by her man and eagerly takes the reins of the company. Lots of angry women discover said rapist owns the company and create a hullabaloo. Fist fight ensues between pro and anti-Danny boy people. Bloody hell! Wonder what’s going to happen next………….

“This is the age of the narcissist. It’s a time when anyone’s opinion is worth as much as an expert”

Yes, that our Paxo (Jeremy Paxman). His departure has left a huge void in my life. Newsnight just isn’t the same without his withering looks and moody contempt for those lowly politicians. Anyway, I digress, back to the matter in hand. I did receive a reply from our Nic, but it appears that there might be a problem with her email address. I used the one that’s on the website but all I got was a reply with lots of gobbledygook. They need to get it sorted quickly, but I’ll send her another in case they have fixed the problem. I’m sure our Nic will be on top of these important things.

Anyway, it looks like it’s hotting up on the Surrey Mirror article. The pro and anti-Cresswell teams are out in force. It looks like there will be many more revelations to come. Quite intriguing, who is lying and who is telling the truth in this drama. Mustn’t forget to say that the only person who is suffering in this horrible episode is the poor victim.

Will update when I get a reply from Nic.

Vape War

So, I admit, I have dabbled in a bit of vaping myself. For those of you not familiar with this term, you’ve obviously not got a problem kicking the habit (the cigs); it refers to using electronic cigarettes which seem to be all the rage at the moment. Talking of rage…it leads me to the whole point of why I’m writing this blog (apart from being bored shitless at work).

A local online newspaper ran the following story: a man by the name of Daniel Cresswell owns a company which sells electronic cigarettes but is currently sitting on his arse in a jail cell somewhere up north having just been convicted of rape. Boring story really..were it not for the comments section. Anyway, I’m a bit intrigued now so do a bit of googling and it seems there is a vape war going on! It appears that this guy also lives not far from me!! I’m not worried though, it looks like I have a few years before he’s back out on the prowl. There is a pro-Cresswell camp and an anti-Cresswell camp. No idea who is winning the war at the moment. But, I thought I’ll get in on the action, why not – I’ve only got five spreadsheets to analyse by the end of tomorrow.

Anyway, after a bit of googling, here is the story in a snapshot: Man by the name of Daniel Cresswell has been a very naughty boy and has been convicted of rape and sentenced to a seven-year sentence. That would have been the end of the story, were it not for the fact that he owns this company Certo Enterprises Ltd. The company lets you buy its stuff from their website or they have a stall in shopping centres across our little land. It appears that his darling wife has taken over the company along with daddy and Danny boy is doing his bit behind bars (can you have a desk and computer in jail?). Anyway, it seems a group of angry ladies are not too happy about Danny boy raking in the dosh whilst in prison for doing a horrible thing. Well, that’s the story according to this blog I found online.

Which leads me to the question: why is the wifey sticking by her man? I mean, seriously, you have to be really fucked up to stay with a man that’s just gone down for 7 years. What do you talk about when he gets out? Actually, presumably she visits him in jail, so what do you talk about. Perhaps, it’s ‘darling Danny I will stick by you, I know the evidence was overwhelming but it was all lies! You will serve your time and then we will continue as we are, we’ll block out this horrible episode and have Sunday lunch at the local just like before”. Urghhh yuck, yes I’m not one for pathetic women and she certainly sounds a bit pathetic doesn’t she. But, I’ll give her a chance and see if perhaps she has anything worthwhile to say in her defence. For all we know, maybe she’s already engaged the services of Fiona Shackleton, excuse me, Baroness Shakleton of Belgravia…..maybe Daddy will fork out the legal fees. Right, let’s send her an email to Director Nicola Cordle via her website and let’s see what the response is…..

Dear Nic

I am writing a rather interesting story, well ok it’s not that interesting but I need an outlet from work and this is what I’ve chosen. 
Can you confirm that you are married to Daniel Cresswell and that you intend to stay by his side while he serves times for rape? If so, why would you be so ridiculous? I apologise if you’ve already engaged the divorce solicitors!! 
Look forward to hearing from you soon.