Sunny Climes

Well, there’s nothing like forgetting that you have a rape charge hanging over you than by taking a multitude of holidays. It looks like it was a busy 2013 for our Danny Boy and Loyal Wifey, what with jetting off to Dubai, Spain and other exotic locations. This info is from my friend (let’s call her Alki Luce) who is friends with Loyal Wifey on FB. Danny Boy even whisked Loyal Wifey off to a castle nearby, such a sweet thoughtful thing to do and I’m sure she forgot all about your little transgression for a few days. Then she remembers and you have the following…..oooooopsssss

twain

Vape War

So, I admit, I have dabbled in a bit of vaping myself. For those of you not familiar with this term, you’ve obviously not got a problem kicking the habit (the cigs); it refers to using electronic cigarettes which seem to be all the rage at the moment. Talking of rage…it leads me to the whole point of why I’m writing this blog (apart from being bored shitless at work).

A local online newspaper ran the following story: a man by the name of Daniel Cresswell owns a company which sells electronic cigarettes but is currently sitting on his arse in a jail cell somewhere up north having just been convicted of rape. Boring story really..were it not for the comments section. Anyway, I’m a bit intrigued now so do a bit of googling and it seems there is a vape war going on! It appears that this guy also lives not far from me!! I’m not worried though, it looks like I have a few years before he’s back out on the prowl. There is a pro-Cresswell camp and an anti-Cresswell camp. No idea who is winning the war at the moment. But, I thought I’ll get in on the action, why not – I’ve only got five spreadsheets to analyse by the end of tomorrow.

Anyway, after a bit of googling, here is the story in a snapshot: Man by the name of Daniel Cresswell has been a very naughty boy and has been convicted of rape and sentenced to a seven-year sentence. That would have been the end of the story, were it not for the fact that he owns this company Certo Enterprises Ltd. The company lets you buy its stuff from their website or they have a stall in shopping centres across our little land. It appears that his darling wife has taken over the company along with daddy and Danny boy is doing his bit behind bars (can you have a desk and computer in jail?). Anyway, it seems a group of angry ladies are not too happy about Danny boy raking in the dosh whilst in prison for doing a horrible thing. Well, that’s the story according to this blog I found online.

Which leads me to the question: why is the wifey sticking by her man? I mean, seriously, you have to be really fucked up to stay with a man that’s just gone down for 7 years. What do you talk about when he gets out? Actually, presumably she visits him in jail, so what do you talk about. Perhaps, it’s ‘darling Danny I will stick by you, I know the evidence was overwhelming but it was all lies! You will serve your time and then we will continue as we are, we’ll block out this horrible episode and have Sunday lunch at the local just like before”. Urghhh yuck, yes I’m not one for pathetic women and she certainly sounds a bit pathetic doesn’t she. But, I’ll give her a chance and see if perhaps she has anything worthwhile to say in her defence. For all we know, maybe she’s already engaged the services of Fiona Shackleton, excuse me, Baroness Shakleton of Belgravia…..maybe Daddy will fork out the legal fees. Right, let’s send her an email to Director Nicola Cordle via her website and let’s see what the response is…..

Dear Nic

I am writing a rather interesting story, well ok it’s not that interesting but I need an outlet from work and this is what I’ve chosen. 
Can you confirm that you are married to Daniel Cresswell and that you intend to stay by his side while he serves times for rape? If so, why would you be so ridiculous? I apologise if you’ve already engaged the divorce solicitors!! 
Look forward to hearing from you soon. 
Regards
Susie